


Diamond

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Genre: Car Ride, M/M, Minecraft, Mutual Pining, bloody nose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 07:56:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20288053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Cartman thought hard for about five minutes, and Kyle was getting impatient so he suggested that they play GTA V, but then Cartman just bitched about how he wasn’t that good and how he just wanted to kill him in-game for the hell of it.That wasn’t necessarily false, so they comprised. Minecraft was the compromise.





	Diamond

“Everything about lasagna is better than ravioli, and that’s just a conversation you aren’t ready to have.” 

“Kyle, I’m like, infinitely smarter than you so don’t you think I would know what's best?”

The redhead scrunched his nose up and hit Cartman’s shoulder.

“Eh’! I’m fucking driving, Jew, lay off!”

It was friday night, and although it was sprinkling lightly and there was the occasional thunder, they had the windows rolled down in Cartman’s truck. The smell of wet dirt and the breeze of night and the light dampness across his bare arm made Kyle feel weightless, and he was especially looking forward to finally hanging out with all of his friends. It’s been a while since the four of them hung out all together, due to restless studying on Kyle’s part, football practice on Stan and Kenny’s, and laziness from Cartman.

“I’ll do what I want, assho-“ Kyle stopped himself mid sentence when he felt his phone in his pocket vibrate.

“Shit, hold on,” He lifted his hips slightly to fish his phone out of his pocket and brought it up to his ear. “Hello?” 

“Kyle!” Kenny was panting hard on the other side of the line, clearly out of breath and Kyle could already guess what he was about to say.

“Yeah?”

“Stan was fucking around with Craig so coach is making us stay for extra conditioning.”

Kyle groaned, pressing a hand to his forehead before Cartman yelled obnoxious as ever, not to mention unnecessarily loud.

“Hey white-boy! Kyle, give me the phone.”

“No, dude, you’re driving!”

“Quit being a little bitch and just give me the phone!” Cartman kept his eyes on the road yet still managed to prod his arm out to snatch Kyle’s cell phone out of his hands. When Kyle smacked his arm hard enough, he whined and retreated.

He brought his phone up to his ear again. 

“You guys done?” Kenny asked with an exasperated sigh.

Kyle turned his head at Cartman to see him frowning and nodded to himself. “Yeah, we’re done.”

“Alright, well I gotta go now, but Stan said he left a spare key on top of his door. Just let yourselves in.”

“What about the rain? Doesn’t that stop you guys?”

“Coach doesn’t give a shit,” Kyle heard distant yelling coming from Kenny’s side of the line. “Gotta go, bye!”

_“Fucking hell.”_

_ _Kyle hung up with a sigh. He argued with Cartman for a bit, only stopping when they finally pulled up to Stan’s front lawn. Cartman got out of his car first to cover both of their heads with his leather jacket since the rain got more intense and wasn’t just a light dusting anymore._ _

_ _Needless to say they made it inside dry. Cartman greeted Mr. Marsh and jogged down the stairs leading to Stan’s basement while he silently followed. _ _

_ _“What game do you wanna play?” Kyle asked as he settled on the run-down couch in front of the TV, Cartman slumping down right beside him as he shoved a PS4 controller into his chest. _ _

_ _Cartman thought hard for five minutes, and Kyle was getting impatient so he suggested that they play GTA V, but then Cartman just bitched about how he wasn’t that good and how he just wanted to kill him in-game for the hell of it._ _

_ _That wasn’t necessarily false, so they comprised. _Minecraft_ was the compromise.___ _

_ _ _ _About a full hour and a half passed by as they were going through the sorts of the game, and Kyle was a bit surprised that they even got as far to the caves. He was silently mining some iron ore and minding his own business when Cartman made him flinch with the loudness of his voice._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Oh shit! Kill that zombie for me, Kyle! AHHHH, shit! There is three of those motherfuckers!” Cartman screeched right in Kyle’s ear, jumping in his seat on the couch._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Calm down, dipshit. You have a sword for a reason!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Oh god, oh god, oh god!” Cartman panicked and ran towards where Kyle was in the caves, attracting the zombies towards them both. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You are such a fucking wuss,” Kyle said flatly as he easily killed off the zombies in a matter of seconds._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Cartman let out a sigh of relief and wiped at his forehead. “I thought those were my last moments, Kyle, what did you expect me to do? Die?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yes.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Cartman stopped moving his thumbs violently and took one hand off the controller to shove him hard. Kyle laughed, a real one from how genuinely offended Cartman looked. After a couple of minutes of silence, he glanced over at Cartman again who was now staring at the TV with a very focused expression on his face, his eyebrows furrowed and his tongue peeking out the side of his lips. Kyle found himself fighting a grin._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Follow me, Jewboy! I’ll lead us to the diamonds and emeralds and all that good shit. I’m a pro so you can trust me.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Kyle scoffed but did so anyways. He followed Cartman’s pixelated character in the darkness, placing torches along the way as they went. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You couldn’t even kill some fucking zombies, what makes you think-“_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“DIAMONDS!” Cartman yelled, and Kyle placed a torch to reveal an opening to a very deep ravine._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Oh shit…” There was, indeed, diamonds a little down below from where they were standing._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Look over the edge, I wanna know how far down it goes before I go across!” Cartman ordered._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Kyle grunted and shifted along the edge slowly, and just about threw his controller when he was flung over the edge. Sure enough, the ‘you died!’ screen took over his side of the TV._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“WHAT THE FUCK!” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I did what had to be done, Kyle. I’m sorry but when there is diamonds involved, it’s every man for himself. Rule number one.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You asshole!” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Cartman yelped in shock when Kyle jumped him, both their controllers falling to the ground and Cartman was shoved into the arm of the couch. Kyle wasn’t even all that invested into the world yet, but Cartman being a dumbass, not to mention a _selfish_ dumbass, got him going like nothing else.___ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He crawled onto his lap, and shoved at his chest. “Why did you do that, you asshole!” Kyle tugged at the collar of the turquoise crew neck he was wearing. “Huh? Why are you such a selfish prick!”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Jesus, Kyle, it’s just Minecraft!” Cartman eyes were wide and suddenly Kyle felt a knee shove into his stomach. He sputtered a bit, clutching at his stomach while Cartman laughed under his breath._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“AARRRGGH!” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Before he could stop himself, he slammed his fist into Cartman’s nose, and the brunet instinctively brought a hand up to cover his face from further blows. Kyle was about to plant more, but stopped his fist mid-air when he saw blood trickle out of his nose, pooling at his top lip._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Oh shit…” Kyle repeated. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _His hand fell to his side and he leaned back onto Cartman’s knees, actually sort of surprised at himself for letting himself act on his anger. He hadn’t physically hurt Cartman in years, and here he was on top of him while he had a fucking bloody nose._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He was definitely expecting Cartman to punch back, or at least try shoving him off, but he instead touched the little stream of blood coming out of his nose, studied his red fingers, and nodded approvingly._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“… I’m impressed.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“What?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Didn’t think you still had it in you.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Kyle knit his eyebrows together, and his heartbeat quickened at the sort-of compliment that was very out of place. He shifted uncomfortably and suddenly was way too aware of the way Cartman felt beneath him. What the fuck was going on?_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Although, I am a little surprised it was _Minecraft_ that got you riled up. I’ve done waaay worse than throw you into some lava!”___ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Shut the fuck up. You’re being weird right now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I’m the one being weird? Okay, fag. You can get off my lap now. Blood is dripping on my favorite sweatshirt.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Kyle had completely forgotten about their position in the scheme of things and muttered an apology, scrambling off his lap._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Alright,” Cartman slapped his free hand that wasn’t holding blood onto his knee. “Now would you please make yourself useful and get me some napkins? My hand isn't helping much, you angry Jew-bitch.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Kyle rolled his eyes at the insult, but still leaned over to grab some napkins that were scattered on the table. He felt really bad, seeing that he made him actually bleed, so he figured the least he could do was help. He positioned himself in front of Cartman, in between his legs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Move your hand,” Kyle ordered. Cartman stared at him for a few seconds, wide-eyed before doing so and Kyle couldn’t help but notice the blush that flared on his cheeks. He replaced Cartman’s hand with some bunched up napkins and applied pressure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Ahh.. shit.” Cartman squeezed his eyes closed and pursed his lips._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Kyle loosened his grip. “Fuck, did I go too hard? Sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Don't apologize, Jewboy.” His eyes fluttered open, piercing blue and so damn captivating for all the wrong reasons. “For a good minute I thought might have gone soft on me. Glad to see your crazy Jersey side making a reappearance.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Kyle half-smiled, looking down at his shoes as he suddenly felt really shitty. Not to mention his remorse, as blood seeped through the napkin and onto the pads of his fingers. It was an impulse thing and it was horrible for him to do for something so lackluster, like dying in Minecraft. He let a tight smile, an apologetic one, and Cartman smiled back. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“But I do get to return that favor anytime I want now though, and I don’t wanna hear shit from you when I do.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Kyle laughed under his breath. “Yeah right, asshole.” He squeezed Cartman’s knee. It was an unspoken apology of sorts, and Cartman messed with his curls on top of his head while waiting for the bleeding to stop._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _His heart skipped a beat and fluttered with something that scared him to death now that he was realizing, and Kyle couldn’t help but think that maybe Cartman was wrong._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Maybe he had gone a little soft for him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> This was super fun to write. Leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!


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